Are you a 'yes person', like me? Is your schedule overflowing with tasks and obligations to the point that you don't have time for the things that matter, including your own sanity and self-care? If you're nodding your head, you're not alone. I want to share why setting limits can improve your mental well-being and give you five action steps so you can start setting limits without feeling guilty.
Why Setting Limits is Crucial in Midlife
The reason I wanted to talk to you about this topic is because I see so many of us in this midlife season who are more bogged down than ever. We might be thinking, "Well, the kids have grown, so I can help out more with other things," and that's great, but a lot of times, we don't have limits set, so we overload ourselves.
Setting limits can be really helpful for people's expectations of us. Setting limits doesn't mean that we're always going to say no. What it does mean is that we can start creating clear expectations so that the people around us, whether it be people at work, friends, or family, have clear expectations of what we can do.
Practical Steps for Setting Limits
As an example, I'm a podcaster, facilitator, writer, and speaker. To someone who isn't in my home office with me every day, they might think, "Oh, Lisa's got a ton of time on her hands." But the truth is, every week is planned out. Setting limits with my family means communicating clearly. "Hey, guys, I am super busy today. I'm either in the recording studio or writing, so I won't be answering my phone between ten and two."
By setting limits, we're not just saying no; we're helping communicate when and how we are available. This can lead to better physical health, mental health, increased productivity, and enhanced personal relationships. If I can be fully focused on my tasks without interruptions, I get done a lot faster. This means that when I set aside time for friends and family, I can be fully present.
Common Barriers to Setting Limits
One of the biggest barriers is guilt and societal expectations. As a woman, there are certain pressures to be a caregiver, a multitasker, and a high achiever. And as our parents age, I feel that they turn to their daughters more. Superwoman syndrome is a phenomenon where women strive to achieve perfection in all areas of their life and end up feeling overwhelmed and highly stressed. this syndrome is strong mindset barrier to can prevent us from taking steps to set limits.
Actionable Steps to Start Setting Limits
Identify and Prioritize Your Needs: Learn to say no gracefully. Offer alternative solutions if you can.
Set Clear and Realistic Boundaries: Use your phone calendar to block out times for recurring obligations and only book those things during those times.
Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself and recognize that it’s okay to prioritize self-care.
Seek Support and Accountability: Find a support system, whether it’s friends, family, or a professional coach or therapist.
If this topic is intriguing to you and you'd like to listen to the full episode about setting limits and boundaries, you can listen HERE.
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